Foundation of Self-Love and Compassion

In every spiritual practice and the majority of religious teachings, self-love and self-compassion take a significant place. These concepts occupied a permanent place in modern psychotherapy. The inner dialogue that we have with ourselves affects our wellbeing. They create a stage for better physical and mental health, form stronger relationships. These are not new-age feel-good concepts – these are ancient wisdom that helps us be resilient and balanced.    

Before showing love and compassion to someone, we need to learn to show it to ourselves. We cannot share anything that we don’t have. Wilfred Peterson wrote: “Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others.” By understanding and being compassionate towards our imperfections, we can relate to others.

The Meaning of Self-Love and Self-Compassion

Concepts of self-love and self-compassion are related but not the same. Self-love is the ability to appreciate yourself as a human being who is worthy of love, with all your strengths and weaknesses. On the other hand, self-compassion is the ability to treat yourself as you would treat your best friend or loved one in a tough situation. It gives us the capacity to learn from mistakes, to pick ourselves up when we're down.

Self-Love vs. Narcissism

Even on the surface, they look similar, but they are different constructs. Self-love is about loving yourself without the need to compare yourself to others, taking pride in your achievements, and recognizing that it’s okay to doubt yourself now and then. Narcissism is the opposite: narcissists compare themselves to others to feel better, obsess with how others see them, and require constant validation from others. It is a desire to put others down as a necessity to elevate yourself. Self-love is authentic appreciation for the self, while narcissism is all about proving that you’re better than everyone else and making sure others see you as you want to be seen.

Self-Compassion vs. Self-Esteem and Confidence

At first glance, they all look very similar. The difference is that self-compassion is accepting yourself, your flaws, and limitations, as opposed to Self-Esteem and Confidence, which reflect self-worth and emphasize our abilities, often overestimating them.

Developing and Practicing Self-Love

1.     Be aware of your needs (not wants) and your feelings. Act in response to this knowledge, rather than on what others want you to do.

2.     Practice good self-care. This includes daily healthy activities, like nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.

3.     Set boundaries. It is the first step to protect your wellbeing, your peace, and your time. This concept is closely related to self-respect.  

4.     Cultivate gratitude. Self-love starts with waking up every morning with a grateful heart. It is the ability to see positive elements in everything.

5.     Daily reflections. At the end of the day, take a moment to reflect on your today's wins, the things you appreciate, and what you can do differently next time.

6.     Celebrate every win, no matter how small. Even the smallest step forward toward your goal or in the right direction is worth celebrating. It’s all adding up and creating momentum.

7.     Have a me-time. It could be 30-60 minutes a day where you focus on activities that bring you joy, such as dancing, singing, creating something, reading, playing, or spending time in nature.

8.     And last one. Compliment Yourself. This one you may consider silly. But it's an effective way to boost your mood and self-confidence. Even giving yourself a smile in the mirror can make a difference. Compliments and smiles are self-love in action.

Developing and Practicing Self-Compassion

1.     Self-talk. How we talk to ourselves and the language we use are a big part of self-compassion. It needs to be a language of encouragement and understanding.

2.     Forgive yourself. Making mistakes is part of being alive; it is how we learn and grow. They are learning experiences. 

3.     Be mindful. Being mindful means being focused on the present moment, observing it with curiosity, and not judgment. It is being aware of your environment, feelings, and energy.

4.     Learn to laugh at yourself. You don’t need to take everything to seriously. Have fun; it brightens up your day and improves your overall wellbeing.

5.     Embracing our humanity. We are all only humans, even we all carry seed of divine inside us. We all have our highs and lows, which help us understand each other and ourselves. We learn to accept ourselves and our uniqueness.

Conclusion

Self-love and self-compassion are a very important part of a healthy and happy life, affecting personal and professional relationships. They are minimizing our stress responses and overall suffering.

Leave me a comment about your experience practicing self-love and self-compassion.

PS: If you are a Reiki practitioner or enthusiast of energy medicine, you will appreciate my book, Reiki: Energy of Love. A Practical Guide and Tips. In this book, I provide exercises, scripts, and valuable tips to help new practitioners succeed while introducing readers to the captivating field of energy medicine. Available now on all Amazon marketplaces. ISBN: 9798339239178

With love,

Roman                                                                                                                                   

July 2025