We all experience limiting beliefs and self-doubts that restrict our effectiveness as practitioners. Just a few examples of limiting beliefs: I am too old or too young, I don’t have enough resources, I am not that type of person. They have the ability to affect our lives, and not always for the better. They prevent us from chasing our dreams, pursuing opportunities, or pursuing relationships. They create a “comfort zone” that could become a prison. Limiting beliefs are not always negative, but they all create boundaries for growth and change. We create them to protect ourselves from failures and disappointments.
We all experience them. To overcome them, we need to recognize where they come from. Most of the time, they are created by our environment. We create them from a young age adding more as we grow. Our immediate family experiences and the stories that parents and grandparents tell us create them. Ideas about wealth, education, relationships, our future and abilities, like what career is a better fit for us and what kind of music or hobbies are more appropriate. It could also be someone we respect who shares their beliefs with us, and we absorb them as ultimate truths.
Our personal past experiences can also impose them. For example, if someone in primary school criticizes our drawing and we decide not to touch a pencil or brush anymore, these limiting beliefs create unconscious biases in our abilities. They could prevent us from taking on opportunities that could affect our professional and personal lives.
I approach my limited beliefs by examining their truths. Are they mine or adopted from my family, friends, teachers, or influencers? If they are not mine, they become biases that limit my potential. If I created them, what evidence do I have to support or contradict them? For example:
“I am not good at public speaking.” If this belief is based on my failure to deliver a book report in fourth grade, can it accurately apply to me now? Can I remember situations after this event when I successfully talked to a group of people?
“I am not good in my practice.” On what are my assumptions based? What facts do I have to come to this conclusion? Was it my unrealistic expectation? Do I need more practice and training, or did the issue I am working on take time to develop, so it will take time to heal?
Several steps to help us overcome our limiting beliefs:
1. Identify one of your limiting beliefs.
What is our biggest fear? Name it. Recognize it as self-induced judgment and limitation. It is our belief, not a fact.
2. Examine our own beliefs.
How did it originate? Did I always have this belief? What facts support it? Does this belief help me achieve my goals? It is always helpful to question your truth and go “outside your box.”
3. Replace old beliefs.
Creating a new belief is not easy, especially if you need to replace a story you have told yourself for many years. It is like getting rid of an old piece of clothing that no longer fits, but we have had it for so long that we have developed an emotional attachment. We need to make room for new clothes. It will take courage. Our beliefs are our thoughts that we repeat many times. They are our thoughts; we created them, and we can replace them.
4. Be patient and kind to yourself.
It is not easy to let go of self-limiting beliefs. One day I feel liberated from them and another day they sneak back in. Be patient with yourself old habits die hard. Consistency and determination are the key. Implementing new beliefs and challenging old ones is the doorway to success. Be kind and proud of yourself for the steps you are taking.
We can overcome our limiting beliefs. We must ask ourselves, “Is my fear of failure stronger than my desire for success?” There is no such thing in life as failure; it is only a teaching experience. Failure is only a failure if we do not learn from it or give up after. Progress occurs when the excitement of trying new things overpower scares of the changes. Our limiting beliefs are designed to protect us and keep us safe in our comfort zone. But they also could put us in the box that prevents our growth and development. It is beneficial from time to time to put our beliefs to the test to see if they still hold the truth. Another approach is to overview our positive experiences and create new beliefs. Our beliefs don’t need to be permanent. I am not the same person that I was 15 years ago. As we change, our beliefs could change, too. Limiting beliefs reflect limitations that we put on ourselves. As we grow and obtain knowledge and experience, our self-imposed boundaries that reflect what we can do need to expand too.
With love,
Roman
April 1, 2024