Holidays can be especially challenging for those who have lost a loved one. Seeing happiness and celebration around you can be very uneasy. Some people feel obligated to feel sadness and sorrow. Allow yourself to feel happiness and spend time with your friends it is not betrayal.
Try to avoid the temptation to “cancel” a holiday, especially if you used to have fun celebrating it together. It is okay to feel joy and sadness at the same time. You can also make this holiday a celebration of the life of the person who is not with us anymore. Everyone grieves differently, and holidays can be an emotional roller coaster. Be patient and compassionate with yourself and nonjudgmental about your emotions. Don’t isolate yourself; allow yourself to feel loved and support people around you.
Here are six suggestions that you may implement during the holidays.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Emotions
Grief can stir up conflicting emotions, which express themselves stronger during holidays. It is unpredictable when these feelings and emotions will come and when they also will go. We need to recognize them and allow ourselves to feel them without judgment. It’s entirely possible to miss your loved one and still find moments of joy during the holidays.
2. Take Care of Yourself
Grief often has physical representation, like affecting our sleep or eating habits. Spending time in nature can raise energy levels and boost the production of positive hormones. Many studies find the effectiveness of exercise. During holiday parties and family gatherings, it is important to find a balance between engaging and not forcing yourself. It’s okay to opt out of the crowd party to movie-marathon night. Be attuned to your body and soul's needs.
3. The Best Way to Help Yourself is to Help Someone Else.
As Mark Twain said, “The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up.” After all, holidays are a wonderful time for kindness and generosity. Bringing joy into someone's life will also elevate your well-being. Plenty of opportunities and people can benefit from your kindness, even in your neighborhood. You can adopt a needy family, spend time working in a soup kitchen, visit single elderly in a nursing home, or create art with kids at risk.
4. Include Your Family in Planning
Express your feelings and wishes for the holiday gathering to your kids and family. Let them be part of or coordinate the holiday celebrations you usually do. Open communication helps to honor everyone’s emotional needs. Keep in mind that everyone grieves differently, so it is essential to have a dialog about navigating the holiday season so that everyone feels comfortable participating and being supported.
5. Continue With Old or Create a New Tradition?
If your family has established holiday traditions, you may feel compelled to keep them on as a connection and to honor the person who has passed. However, you may need to consider something new if you feel that old routine feels awkward or makes you extremely sad. You can create a new one to preserve that person’s memory. It can be as simple as having that person’s favorite dishes or watching his favorite movies. Creating new holiday traditions or memories does not replace old memories.
Old or new holiday traditions they need to provide comfort and create a supporting environment.
6. Have Plan A and Plan B.
When planning a holiday celebration, be aware that grief could be unexpectedly overwhelming. It is good to have a plan B. If you find it difficult to participate in a big gathering, it is helpful to have a backup plan. It could be as simple as spending time with your closest friend or family member. Be flexible; grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it’s okay to change your plans if needed. Be compassion in attending to your needs. So you can experience some peace and joy without isolating yourself.
Conclusion
I find journaling a beneficial tool. Take time to write all your joyful, wonderful memories about loved ones. It will help you shift perspectives from grief to gratitude and focus on how lucky you were to know them. These memories of loved ones could bring peace and strength during difficult times. We can share these notes with family and allow them to add memories. These notes could be interesting for your kids and grandkids to read in later years.
The holiday season may look different now, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still hold moments of peace, love, and connection.
Disclosure:
The information on this page is not intended to be a substitute for diagnosis, treatment, or informed professional advice. Always consult with a qualified health professional.
With Love,
Roman
December 1, 2024
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